chronicles of life and death

?deneppahtahw

2008-09-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

WTF happened? I know not how or why. All i know is that the two special people in my life is now mad at me. I Dunno what to do. Thigs are goin weird. so am i. I Dunno wtf s goin on. Mark mad at me coz i lied. Im not perfect ,yes. Im only human. Nakakapagsinungaling. Nadadapa. Tumatayo. Nalilito.Mark is my bestfriend. I Have to admit that i like him too. He's the only and first person na nagpapahalaga sakin. Sya lang ang napagsasabihan ko ng sama ng loob, (since Rhein/My other bff is busy with his own life. hehe ) Palagi sya nasa tabi ko. Rain or shine. Thick Or Thin. Ups And Down. Then habang tumatagal, There are times na i get "kilig" to his sweet comments, thoughts, concerns and etcetera. Then i just woke up one day knowing that im inlove wit my bestfriend. It would be a lie if i tell you now that i didnt like him. I have to admt i used to like him. Im havin a crush on him before. Pero i thought he didnt like me. And i was afraid of gettin hurt again. So pnigilan ko, lalo na nung nalaman ko that he's courting this girl named Dan.. But then, that time, i just broke up with Carl (my ex) so there's this feeling called trauma. So habang maaga pa, pinigilan ko na. Naisip ko, siguro its better to slow down. And besides, i dont think he likes me too. (Oo na. siguro manhid din ako, mark.)

So as days passed, nagiba ang treatment ko kay Mark. Naisip ko, maybe we're better off as friends.. Or maybe not? I Dunno.. Then, Pumasok na sa eksena si Matt. Ewan ko, pero magaan loob ko kay Matt. Pero syempre mas importante pa din si Mark sakin. Pero habang tumatagal, nagiging close nadin kami. Then yung level ng importansya ni Mark and Matt sakin naging pantay. Then ayun. Kahit hindi kami ni Matt, sobrang sweet namin sa isa't isa. to the point na Mark's always askin me kung kami daw ba or what. Syempre isasagot ko kay Mark hindi. kasi hindi namn kam n Matt talaga. Then ayun. Feeling ni mark, sinungaling ako. Then one day, bigla nalng naging cold si Mark sakin. I Can feel that theres sumthin wrong. Pero ayaw nya sakin sabihin..

Matt is the type of person na very vocal. He says whats on his mind and what he feels. On the other hand, Mark is the quite type. Tinatago nya feelings nya. Kaya w/o me knowing, gusto din pala ako ni Mark. which is, ngayon nya lang inamin..

Mark :): alam mo gusto ko sna higit pa sa bestfriend ang mangyare. pero mahal mo si matt kya ok lang un. kung dun ka masaya ok . wala nmn ako magagawa. ingat ka nlng palagi . mahal kita BUZZ!!!

Mark :) has signed out. (9/26/2008 4:57 PM)

TRIXIE .: bakit ngayon mo lang yan sinabi?
Mark :): kaw may ayaw sken
TRIXIE .: manhid ka lang.
Mark :): kung aun tingin mu
Mark :): mahal mo si matt e
Mark :): wala na
Mark :): ska tinuring mo nlng ako bestfrend
Mark :): kya ayon
Mark :): sge alis nko BUZZ!!!
Mark :): AYAW MO NA
Mark :): ?
TRIXIE. has signed out. (9/26/2008 5:03 PM)

-----------------

What am i supposed to do now? Bakit kailangan ko mamili? Which is ayaw ko gawin. Kasi alam ko naman na pag namili ako, ang isa, lalayo. Both of em are very important to me. Isa sila sa mga nagpahalaga sakin. Pero ngayon, bakt ganito nangyayari? :(

Okay, im sorry bout my last comment.Im sorry Mark. :{ I Know i have caused you pain, while you hve caused me nuthin but the greatest happines.. Palagi mo ko pinapasaya Mark. (: But now, i know whats happenin is hurtin u rght now, but you may never know how much im hurting too. Maybe im the one who's selfish. Ang iniisip ko lang yung mraramdaman ko. Yes. i dont want you to leave me. Importnte ka sakin eh. Pero hindi ko naisip na yun ang gusto mo gawin. Hndi ko nirespeto decision mo. And m sorry for that. :{ I have learned to like you a lot, probably even love in the way I love my other friends. I can be, and i will always be, your friend for life f u will allow me to be. But if you honestly believe tht this friendship has nowhere else to go,then i dnt think theres any point at trying so hard to save it.But if deep in ur heart u feel dat dis friendship is special, MY DOORS ARE ALWAYS OPEN TO WELCOME U BACK. IM WILLING TO WAT, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.. ILOVEYOUMARK. YOULL ALWAYS BE MY BFF..

AGAIN.

2008-09-11T02:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Whoever,

Today is a ~~boring~~ day. I Woke up late, around 2pm as ussual. haha. You cant blame me, last night was a horrible night. Ive been dreaming and thinking my dad. So when i woke up, my mom keep on yelling at me, saying im supposed to sleep and wake up early, and blah blah blah.Haha. Kumain. Tumanganga. Natulog. Iniisip sya. Tumanganga. ^__^
Boredom strikes again. Then I Cant think of something to do, so i decided to watch a movie. But sadly, we aint got a new dvd/vcd. So while searching for something to watch, i remembered One Tree Hill If you'll not aski, Im a certified OTH addcit! haha. And i have a Huge crush on Chad Michael Murray. a.k.a Lucas Scott. OMFG. *drools* Chad michael Murray, Marry Me? Please? Haha.

Anyway, Peyton Sawyer is my inspiration when it comes into ~~dark~~ art. Here's a few of her artwork.
See, isnt she great? (: I <3 Peyton Sawyer!
Enough now. I want to finish the season 4 so i can watch the
season 5. Ive heard season 5 is the BEST! ^__^

CMM's Fiancee ~~(not!)~~

Trixie (:

I Love You Best Mark. :]

2008-09-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

Dear whoever,

Last night, i get the chance to catch up on Mark. I Just miss him. He always makes me smile. And the best thing about him is, he's always beside me, no matter what.
I wish i'll get the chance to meet him in person. :]

i love you best mark. best friends forever. (:

Your bestfriend,

Trixie.

I Want A Simple Explanation

2008-09-03T00:37:00.000-07:00

Mood:

Dear Whoever,

Im still human, i still get my feelings hurt, and get pissed off at things. Im trying to control my feeings, but gaah, i cant. Im trying not to cry but you know, i just cant help it.

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up. I Jut broke up wit him. And i dont know which path to take. Will I continue loving him? Or should i stop it? You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?. It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it. Ang sakit. ang sakit sakit. I did the best i could but God, it wasnt good enough. Where did i go wrong? I've gave my best. But still, it didnt work out. Tangina. Seryoso ako sayo, then ikaw you're takin me for granted. Tapos may malalaman ako na hindi maganda. Fxck, tara, maglaro nalang tayo. If thats what you want. Fine. Lets play it the way you want it to be. But im tellin you, aint no other way to play game, tha way i play. Pero bakit pa tayo maglalaro? Tapusin na natin 'to. Bakit ko pa hahayaan na mas lalo ako masaktan? In the end, ako pa din ang talo.. And that is what you get when you when you let your heart win. Damn you Carl. Damn You.

Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold, and more painful than you've ever imagined. And even when truth is more cruel than any lie.

I Love You (not!),

TRIXIE.

Ecstatic :]

2008-08-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

AUGUST 09, 2008
4:45 am

Mood:

Yay. its been a month since the last time i've updated my blog. Anyway, i really dunno where to start, kasi there's a lotta things that happened to me today/tonight. Hehe. Actually, kakaalis lang ni Carl ngayon. haha. yea madaling araw na. :] and kakauwi nya lang. andddd HAPPY 2ND MONTH to us CARL. ^__^ Masydong maaga namin cinelebrate ang aming monthsary. haha. its fun though. it really is. nakakatuwa. And, kaninang hapon, im thinking if i'll visit Treelane 3. wala lang, i just miss my friends. so dahil its 08-08-08 well, "08" is a lucky number as they say. well ewan ko lang. pero ewan ko ba, ang lakas ng feeling ko na may maganda na mangyayari sakin today. haha. anyway, as i said, i went to Treelane. if im not mistaken mga around 4pm ako nagstay dun up to 5pm. Afterwards, we went to Jhy's house. Then we're about to go to Mela's house na [around 6pm] but then, OMFG we saw this cute guy. super cute. he's chinito and maputi, so i guess he's a mixed blood. or maybe he's a jap. pero syempre hanggang tingin lang kami. haha tapos, siguro mga nakailang steps na kami, then we decided to follow that guy, but sadly, hindi na namin sya mkita. damn. hahah. okay lang. masrap lang kasi magtrip that time. haha. then, dumiretso na kami kina Mela. tapos tumambay sa club hoouse. then we were talkin bout this 08-08-08 thingy, if its true nga na lucky, tapos kami ni Jhy, were still expecting that there's somethin great that will happen to us that day. then were talkin bout online games too. haha. i dont play any online games kasi. pero recently, im becoming interested on it. haha. Reason; CARL! hahah. kasi nmn, he's so addicted on online games. lalo na that Cabal Game. damn you Cabal. lol. :]]] so i decided to try any online game para nmn i can understand him na. para next time, kasama nya na ko maglalaro. haha ^___^ and then ayun na, naghanapa kami ng internet shop. but damn, lahat puno. walang availble. ampp-___- naubos time namin kaka hanap ng net shop. haha. tumalon pa kami ng bakod dun sa shortcut para dun sa isang internet shop. haha kaso wala din availble. haha.so yea, swerte ang 08. hahaha. tapos, mga 10pm bumalik kami kina Jhy. then pabalik balik kami. tapos may nakita kami na cute guy. sinundan nmin. kaso badtrip, sumakay agad ng jeep. haha. ang sakit na nga ng paa ko. haha. tapos naghanap ulit kami ng net shop, wala pa din. and again, swerte nga ang 08 (NOT! :]]) . hahahha. :]]] Ayun, 11pm na siguro nung bumalik kami sa isang net shop then FINALLY, may space na. hahaha. ayun, nag net kami. tapos ang saya ko, kasi naabutan ko si Carl na online. yehey. i greeted him. coz its our 2ND MONTH. wee. ayun, i tried Audition ang 02jam too. kaso ang boring. haha. inantok lang ako. tapos i wanna buy that clothes for my character kaso i dont have money pa on that game. ampp pity me. haha. ayun, tapos pumunta na kami kina Carl, dinaanan namin sya tapos pumunta kami dito sa house together wit Jhy and Ate Lei. :] Uminom sila whie Carl and i were talkin. god. ang sya. :} i really enjoyed this day. kahit na hindi kami siniwerte ni Jhy. :]]] i had a lotta fun today. i love 08 na. lol. hahaha. :]] and i get the chance to spend some time wit carl pa. maagang celebration. hahaa. :] la la la. i love you Carl. i really do. :] again, happy 2nd month. :] anyway, its 5am now, i have to sleep na. ahha. pagkaalis na pagkaalis kasi ni Carl, i got inspired, obviously kasi im happy. haha kaya eto, kahit na nagtitilaukan na ang mga manok eto parin ako, nagblo-blog. hahaha. ^^ anyway, goodmornin and goodbye for now. :] I LOVE YOU CARL!!!! :] la la la love.

TrixieLoveCarl :]

Now Its Forever..

2008-06-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

06.25.08

Jhon Carl De Lara Cerezo,I Want You To Know How Much I Love You. You Complete Me. I Love You More Than You Could Possibly Know And My Love Keeps Growing Every Time I See You Struggling To Make Me Happy. I Love you, Carl, Now And Always. Youre My FOREVER. I Know Words Are Still Not Enough. But Carl, I LOve LOve youu From The Bottom Of My Heart, Yes. Im Deeply Inlove Wit U. Yes It Has A Beginning. But It Has No End. Carl, My Love For You Is Unmeasurable. Its Deathless. Im So Glad That Ive Waited For You. . I Love You Mr. Cerezo..

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever.I think our love can do anything we want it to.

`Trixie Love Carl.

Yours Wit Much love

TRIXIE.

Me && You. <33

2008-06-24T04:21:00.000-07:00

Its Me && You. Yes. We Shared Our First Kiss. I Can Still Feel Your Lips. Your Tongue On My Lips. Oh yes. I Can still Remember. A Kiss I Would Remember. Eleventh Of June. And oh, do you know that you kissed My Soul && Heart Too? :] . Yes, You stole my heart today. When our eyes close, our lips meet. i place my lips next to yours. Smooth and warm, Sensuous and passionate. Can we do that again? Coz And it wasn't going to be our last. <33

Goodbye.

2008-06-04T00:47:00.000-07:00

Year Zero Eight, June Zero Four. Yes. Ive deleted my friendster account already. I have many reason why
i 'vedeleted it. Dont ask me why coz that would be a stupid question for me. Yes.i wont tell u the reason. I chose to keep it inside me. Im sorry. I want to be alone now. I have my own life too. I dont wanna dream of something i know i cant live or have in reality, Im tired now. I Hate changes. But Yea, there is no such thing as forever. people change. things change. feelings change. everybody change..
i hate my life. i hate myself. i hate everythin thats happenin to me. i hate everybody.
i wanna die. i dunno wat to do. i miss my dad. i hate my dad. i love my dad. oh shit!! i wanna die. i wanna die. i wanna die. you cant understand i know. you just didnt care bout me the way others did. or maybe no one seems to care at all. tidal waves of light && energy rolled from me, && spread out over the universe, to the farthest planet circling the loniest star in the most distant galaxy.. goodbye. the game is over. the end.

"Damn you trixie! You have to give yourself a time. If you cant think of a reason to live, then you have to find one. Think Trixie, of everything && everyone in the world. Think of sumthin you want to do. Hold on to that, at least untill you get out of here..."

You Seem To Have Gone Too Far. I Miss You Daddy. :[

2008-05-21T00:12:00.000-07:00

heyah all. im a lil upset ayt now. i miss my dad soo badly. i miss him. its been a while since i last saw him. 1 year. 12 months. 24 weeks. 365 days. hello? imagine that. daddy, i miss u. my siblings misses u. mom misses u too. where are you now? i dun even know wat to feel coz i really dunno the real story. just ur lame excuses. yes. i hate you. but i still love you dad. i miss you. please go home now.. :[ daddy.. why cant you tell us the real story? speak; im listenin. :[

babalikan nyo pa ba kami? my gad daddy. theres so many questions runnin in my head, but theres no answers. you seem to have gone too far.. And Youre Becomin A Stranger To Me..

Lost && Desolate.

2008-04-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me..

"Trix, people come and go, what's meant to be will always find it's way back, if he's for you, para sayo talaga. di ko pwedeng sabihing okay lang yan kasi hindi naman talaga. stand up and move on. BE PROUD. NOT BECAUSE HE USED TO HURT YOU, IT'S BECAUSE YOU LEARNED A LESSON FROM IT NA MAGAGAMIT MO IN THE FUTURE PARA DI KA ULIT MASAKTAN. again, stand up and move on, not because he hurt you, it's because you learned a lesson."

The most painful words..

2008-04-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

"I still love You, but You're just not worth the fight anymore."

I wish things would have been different.

And maybe, JUST MAYBE,

You would love me in the very special way that i do..

I scream for love, but love there is none.

The only feeling of lost is when you love

someone more than you love yourself.

The future is just a blurred vision.

Nothin there excites me at all.

Nothin there is worth all the waiting.

Paulo is the only thing i got.

Kung wala sya, wala na din ako.

I cant live without him.

Even today is a disater.

Every step. Every breath is a BURDEN.

I am at teh precifice.

NOTHING && NO ONE

seems to care if I fall or break. :(

I WANT TO DIE.

EVERYTHING IS A NIGHTMARE.

I AM THE DREAMER. LOST && DESOLATE.

I Miss you. :[

2008-04-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

Mood:

Im at the point of no return && it makes no difference who's right or wrong. Its still pretty hard to believe. I did the best i could, but god, it wasnt good enough. But i dont hate him, and i dont hate myself either. I just dunno wat the fxcked is goin on. I hate it. I dunno how or why, I need not know for in the answer. Logic could never explain. nor reason ever fanthom, why things turned the way they have. So let things stand the way they are. Let fate determine the paths our hearts are bound to take. :( If at the end of the road i still find Paulo, it only assures me one thing: He Is My Destiny Indeed.. :)

My Heart Only Beats Your Name (:

2008-04-14T12:07:00.001-07:00

I LOVE YOU SOO. Deep in my heart, I feel very grateful indeed, that the Lord has given you to me, although, many times i feel guilty, knowing you deserve a better woman. : Still, you continue to love me. And now, i realized wat true love really means. (: THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME.
MARCO PAULO BANDOL, Id Like To reaffirm my love, which will always be here for you- Through thick && thin- And this is because,
MY HEART ONLY BEATS YOUR NAME. Please, Take My Hand, && Never Let Me Go. (:

THE L WORD. LOL. ILY PAULO >3

2008-04-14T02:46:00.000-07:00

La La La. Read This. And You'll Love us. LOL :)

Trixie Fernandez: liberated or conservative?
paulo.hardcore: liberated. hahaha. dont ask me why. lolx
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: sige na.
Trixie Fernandez: tell me teh reason
paulo.hardcore: ewan ko i just feel like it
Trixie Fernandez: oh.
Trixie Fernandez: ako nmn liberated in a way na open minded, pero ung alam mo na, haha. endi nmn ako gnun. lo
Trixie Fernandez: oh tukso, layuan mo ako
paulo.hardcore: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: sagutin mo toh ah.
Trixie Fernandez: may first kiss ka na ba?
paulo.hardcore: Wala.
paulo.hardcore: Dont ask why
paulo.hardcore: lolx
Trixie Fernandez: haha.
Trixie Fernandez: ikaw nmn eh, puro "dun ask y"
paulo.hardcore: Wala kasi eh
paulo.hardcore: lol
paulo.hardcore: Ikaw
Trixie Fernandez: playin safe ka kasi\
Trixie Fernandez: hulaan mo
paulo.hardcore: im scared sa mga bagay na ganyan. lolx
Trixie Fernandez: haha.
paulo.hardcore: im a virgin
paulo.hardcore: lolxpaulo.hardcore:
Trixie Fernandez: no seriously, la pa ko 1st kiss nuh
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: endi nga?
paulo.hardcore: wala
paulo.hardcore: i swear to God.
Trixie Fernandez: okay.Trixie Fernandez: i trust u nmn
Trixie Fernandez: liberated ba mga tao jan?
paulo.hardcore: hindi naman masyado
Trixie Fernandez: hehe
paulo.hardcore: wala akong 6 packsp
aulo.hardcore: lox
Trixie Fernandez: wait
paulo.hardcore: ok
Trixie Fernandez: grabee.Trixie Fernandez: ang hotttttt neman
Trixie Fernandez: Trixie Fernandez:
paulo.hardcore: WAAA
paulo.hardcore: hindi ako nag edit nyan
paulo.hardcore: lolx
paulo.hardcore: wala na ung original na pic
paulo.hardcore: sayang#
Trixie Fernandez: a
iTrixie Fernandez: sayng,
Trixie Fernandez: grabee
paulo.hardcore: nahack kasi multiply ko dati
Trixie Fernandez: oh tukssooo, layuann mo akooooo.
Trixie Fernandez: oh. syng nmn
paulo.hardcore: weh. malibog ka?
Trixie Fernandez: lol
Trixie Fernandez: endi ahh
Trixie Fernandez: Trixie Fernandez: mana lang ako sau
paulo.hardcore: malibog ako
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: edi we're on teh same league^_________^
paulo.hardcore: HAHA
paulo.hardcore: hindi ka na virgin no, adik ka
Trixie Fernandez: ui endi ahh
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: endi ako slut
Trixie Fernandez: ma-L lang minsan
Trixie Fernandez: bka ikaw endi na virgin?
paulo.hardcore: waaa
paulo.hardcore: im virgin but i wanna try
paulo.hardcore: lolx
Trixie Fernandez: haha.
Trixie Fernandez: noo.
Trixie Fernandez: dun try it
Trixie Fernandez: \magagalit ako sau
paulo.hardcore: try ko sayo. pede?
Trixie Fernandez: hahha
Trixie Fernandez: ganito,
Trixie Fernandez: u'll be my 1st, && i'll be ur 1st
Trixie Fernandez: lol
paulo.hardcore: adeek talaga o
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: mana ako sau eh!'
paulo.hardcore: mag condom ka nga. haha
Trixie Fernandez: ui andami alam oh
Trixie Fernandez: siguro, nakatry ka na tlga noh?
paulo.hardcore: hindi pa
paulo.hardcore: promise.
paulo.hardcore: nag try na mag suot but not using it
paulo.hardcore: amp naman
Trixie Fernandez: really ?
Trixie Fernandez: haha,
Trixie Fernandez: san mo nkuha?
paulo.hardcore: meron kami sa bahay
paulo.hardcore: haha
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: ang L ni paulo oh
paulo.hardcore: i know
paulo.hardcore: raypin kita jan eh
Trixie Fernandez: diba nga dapat, nung magpapa cam ako sau, sabi mo
Trixie Fernandez: "wag, nag jajack*l ako"
Trixie Fernandez: haha
paulo.hardcore: HAHAHA
Trixie Fernandez: adiik oh
Trixie Fernandez: hai.
Trixie Fernandez: ang gawpooo mo
paulo.hardcore: ang ganda mo
Trixie Fernandez: kakainlab tlga oh
Trixie Fernandez: la la la^_______^
paulo.hardcore: pag inlove may kasamang sex ba yun?
Trixie Fernandez: haha.
Trixie Fernandez: i dunno
Trixie Fernandez: it depends
paulo.hardcore: depend pa o
Trixie Fernandez: depende un sa girl
Trixie Fernandez: haha,
Trixie Fernandez: oo gnun tlga
paulo.hardcore: kung ikaw papayag ka? (:
paulo.hardcore: haha
Trixie Fernandez: haha.
Trixie Fernandez: i dunno?
Trixie Fernandez: lol
Trixie Fernandez: depende
Trixie Fernandez: ewan?
Trixie Fernandez: ung iba nmn kasi nkakainis,
Trixie Fernandez: kapag endi nkipag sex sakanila ung partner nila,
Trixie Fernandez: feelin nila,
Trixie Fernandez: endi na sila mahal.
Trixie Fernandez: like wtf?
Trixie Fernandez: lol
paulo.hardcore: haha
Trixie Fernandez: am i right?
Trixie Fernandez: lol
paulo.hardcore: seriously, wala pa sa isip ko makipag sex
Trixie Fernandez: yea.
Trixie Fernandez: too young pa.
Trixie Fernandez: manood ka nlng ng porn
paulo.hardcore:
paulo.hardcore: i dont need it
paulo.hardcore: i got your pictures. wahaha
Trixie Fernandez: haha
Trixie Fernandez: lol.
Trixie Fernandez: endi nmn hawtseks ung pics ko.
paulo.hardcore: pede mag pic ka? ng bago?
paulo.hardcore: lolx
Trixie Fernandez: haha.
Trixie Fernandez: okay.

AND YES. I LOVE HIM BECAUSE..

Trixie Fernandez: ui, bka mamaya,
Trixie Fernandez: may chix ka ah
paulo.hardcore: wala ikaw lang. eh dapat nasa friendster ko na
paulo.hardcore: tsk
Trixie Fernandez: malay mo,
Trixie Fernandez: meron sa fs,
Trixie Fernandez: meron sa multiply
Trixie Fernandez: meron sa myspace
paulo.hardcore: wala kaya. Mamatay pa ako
paulo.hardcore: ayan
paulo.hardcore: I love you
paulo.hardcore: i dont care about the distance
paulo.hardcore: i care about You.
Trixie Fernandez: i love you more
Trixie Fernandez: same here.
paulo.hardcore: Alam mo
paulo.hardcore: parang hindi ako
Trixie Fernandez: ur always on my mind.
paulo.hardcore: makakauwi this summer
paulo.hardcore: nakakainis
Trixie Fernandez: tlga?
paulo.hardcore: may trabaho pa nanay ko i hate it
paulo.hardcore: oo
Trixie Fernandez: okay lang.
Trixie Fernandez: cheer up
paulo.hardcore: wag ka na sad. uuwi pa naman ako eh
Trixie Fernandez: it doesnt matter nmn diba?
Trixie Fernandez: basta,
paulo.hardcore: opo.
Trixie Fernandez: love natin isa't isa, okay na
Trixie Fernandez: yea. pero syempre, nkakalungkot padin.
Trixie Fernandez: kasi sayng diba?
Trixie Fernandez: Bsta, I LOVE YOU. TRUST ME. (:

LA LA LA. ENOUGH NA. MAGGALIT NA SI PAULO KO. >3

I Love You, Do You Love Me, Sir? :(

2008-04-14T02:34:00.001-07:00

Ampp nmn. Ang sakit sakit nmn :( There's so many "so-called" friends here na naninira kay Paulo. Wat teh fxck is wrong with them? Syempre im affected sa mga sinasabi nila. Kasi, nagdadalwang isip tuloy ako kung mahal ba tlga ako ni Paulo, or wat. Tapos, ang layo pa nmin sa isa't isa. Sigh. :( Yes, im jealous. Buti pa yung iba, they could kiss, hug, cuddle, kiss again, && hug, & kiss their partners. :( Thats fxckin unfair, you know? Hai. Kami ni Paulo, endi. Nasa england kasi sya. Ang hirap diba? Sobraa. Hey, i just realized, endi nmn dapat ako malungkot diba? Basta, i'll be waiting for him. Mahal na mahal ko si Paulo. Sobra. Wala ng iba. :)

IM SOO INLOVE. LA LA LA ^_^ ♥.

2008-04-14T01:56:00.000-07:00

Hello. Well, I have a free time today. so tada! im here again. la la la. IM SOO INLOVE. But, Im kinda confused too. Sigh. Ewaannnn. Basta, Im 101 % SURE na I LOVE THIS GUY NAMED, MARCO PAULO BANDOL. Grabee. This guy is so wonderful. Ive never felt like this before. I mean, im soo inlove wit him tlga. There's no moment in my life na i've forgotten him. He's always on my mind. Hai. Ang hirap nmn ma-inlove. LOL. ^___^

Sya lang mamahalin ko. Kung endi sya, wag na lng. Mahal na mahal ko sya. Sana umuwi na sila dito. Actually isa din un sa mga nagpapahina ng loob ko. I mean, alam ko nmn na, almost lahat ng LDR, endi nagtatagal. Am i right? Imagine, im here in Phil. tapos sya nsa england. Almost 7 hours ang diff. Oo, alam ko mahirap, pero kakayanin ko. Kasi I LOVE HIM. I REALLY DO LOVE HIM. He's my eternal.

Always && Forever. ♥.

2008-01-16T21:32:00.000-08:00

La La La. I cant believe it’s been a month since my last entry. =(

i've been fucking busy this previous months. Ive been soo busy lately, but I wanted to write a quick blog so it

doesn’t look like I’m dead here! lol. Anyway. again, i missed my dad. I really do miss him. :( I dun even know where teh hell is my dad. I dun have any idea. And thats fxckin unfair. I dun even know wat to feel. I mean, how can i understand him, if i dun even know teh real story. :( Im scared. I just dunno anything anymore. I am the dreamer. LOST && DESOLATE. :(

P.S: Please Dont Steal My Artwork. ->

Merry X-Mas

2007-11-30T06:34:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS! whooo. I am so excited already. It's only 26 days before x-mas:) im looking forward that we'll enjoy celebrating X-mas this year.. eventhough my daddy is away.. I just hope my dad is okay..

i havent seen him for almost seven months. imagine that. i really miss himm..

anyway, i'll be away for one month.

will be celebrating our x-mas in our province. in Pangasin.

Pangasinan is such a great place. Yung House namin doon tabi ng dagat:)

COOL ayt?:) La La La. I miss my dad na tlga. Endi ako sanay pag wla si daddy sa tabi ko. I miss Himm soo much. Sana nmn, makasama nmin si daddy.. :(

Friendster Addiction. XD

2007-11-30T04:16:00.000-08:00

NOVEMBER 30, 07

8;36 PM

Hey, em back. i'm replying

my friend's comments in friendster..

Gee. I am so fuckin' addict na in

FS. i swear. haha.

Well, fs is fun nmn.

I get to know people.

Make new friends.

I have so many friends na nga eh.

Plus, I get to know some of my friends better ayt?

But dont worry, i know my limitations nmn:)

WHO IS HE?

HE IS MY NEWEST FS FRIEND:)

I REALLY ENJOY HIS COMPANY

^________________^

my FIRST post.. ever.. ^______^

2007-11-30T02:33:00.000-08:00

BNOVEMBER 30, 07

FRIDAY

6:39 PM

HELLO FELLAS. I CANT BELIEVE THAT I HAVE BLOG NOW..

ACTUALLY I AM FUCKIN BORED, SO LA LA LA, WHILE SURFIN TEH NET,

POOF! I SAW THIS WEBSITE. AND ITS ACTUALLY EYE-CATCHING

SO, I SIGN UP HERE,.. ^__________^

BYE FOR NOW. MORE LATER

I AM GONNA DESIGN MY BLOG FIRST. :)

XOXO,

deadstarTRIXIE