?deneppahtahw
Friday, September 26, 2008 @ 1:51 AM
WTF happened? I know not how or why. All i know is that the two special people in my life is now mad at me. I Dunno what to do. Thigs are goin weird. so am i. I Dunno wtf s goin on. Mark mad at me coz i lied. Im not perfect ,yes. Im only human. Nakakapagsinungaling. Nadadapa. Tumatayo. Nalilito.Mark is my bestfriend. I Have to admit that i like him too. He's the only and first person na nagpapahalaga sakin. Sya lang ang napagsasabihan ko ng sama ng loob, (since Rhein/My other bff is busy with his own life. hehe ) Palagi sya nasa tabi ko. Rain or shine. Thick Or Thin. Ups And Down. Then habang tumatagal, There are times na i get "kilig" to his sweet comments, thoughts, concerns and etcetera. Then i just woke up one day knowing that im inlove wit my bestfriend. It would be a lie if i tell you now that i didnt like him. I have to admt i used to like him. Im havin a crush on him before. Pero i thought he didnt like me. And i was afraid of gettin hurt again. So pnigilan ko, lalo na nung nalaman ko that he's courting this girl named Dan.. But then, that time, i just broke up with Carl (my ex) so there's this feeling called trauma. So habang maaga pa, pinigilan ko na. Naisip ko, siguro its better to slow down. And besides, i dont think he likes me too. (Oo na. siguro manhid din ako, mark.)
So as days passed, nagiba ang treatment ko kay Mark. Naisip ko, maybe we're better off as friends.. Or maybe not? I Dunno.. Then, Pumasok na sa eksena si Matt. Ewan ko, pero magaan loob ko kay Matt. Pero syempre mas importante pa din si Mark sakin. Pero habang tumatagal, nagiging close nadin kami. Then yung level ng importansya ni Mark and Matt sakin naging pantay. Then ayun. Kahit hindi kami ni Matt, sobrang sweet namin sa isa't isa. to the point na Mark's always askin me kung kami daw ba or what. Syempre isasagot ko kay Mark hindi. kasi hindi namn kam n Matt talaga. Then ayun. Feeling ni mark, sinungaling ako. Then one day, bigla nalng naging cold si Mark sakin. I Can feel that theres sumthin wrong. Pero ayaw nya sakin sabihin..
Matt is the type of person na very vocal. He says whats on his mind and what he feels. On the other hand, Mark is the quite type. Tinatago nya feelings nya. Kaya w/o me knowing, gusto din pala ako ni Mark. which is, ngayon nya lang inamin..
Mark :): alam mo gusto ko sna higit pa sa bestfriend ang mangyare. pero mahal mo si matt kya ok lang un. kung dun ka masaya ok . wala nmn ako magagawa. ingat ka nlng palagi . mahal kita BUZZ!!!Mark :) has signed out. (9/26/2008 4:57 PM)TRIXIE .: bakit ngayon mo lang yan sinabi?Mark :): kaw may ayaw skenTRIXIE .: manhid ka lang.
Mark :): kung aun tingin muMark :): mahal mo si matt eMark :): wala naMark :): ska tinuring mo nlng ako bestfrendMark :): kya ayonMark :): sge alis nko BUZZ!!!Mark :): AYAW MO NAMark :): ?TRIXIE. has signed out. (9/26/2008 5:03 PM)-----------------
What am i supposed to do now? Bakit kailangan ko mamili? Which is ayaw ko gawin. Kasi alam ko naman na pag namili ako, ang isa, lalayo. Both of em are very important to me. Isa sila sa mga nagpahalaga sakin. Pero ngayon, bakt ganito nangyayari? :(Okay, im sorry bout my last comment.Im sorry Mark. :{ I Know i have caused you pain, while you hve caused me nuthin but the greatest happines.. Palagi mo ko pinapasaya Mark. (: But now, i know whats happenin is hurtin u rght now, but you may never know how much im hurting too. Maybe im the one who's selfish. Ang iniisip ko lang yung mraramdaman ko. Yes. i dont want you to leave me. Importnte ka sakin eh. Pero hindi ko naisip na yun ang gusto mo gawin. Hndi ko nirespeto decision mo. And m sorry for that. :{ I have learned to like you a lot, probably even love in the way I love my other friends. I can be, and i will always be, your friend for life f u will allow me to be. But if you honestly believe tht this friendship has nowhere else to go,then i dnt think theres any point at trying so hard to save it.But if deep in ur heart u feel dat dis friendship is special, MY DOORS ARE ALWAYS OPEN TO WELCOME U BACK. IM WILLING TO WAT, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.. ILOVEYOUMARK. YOULL ALWAYS BE MY BFF..
TrixieEatWorld
AGAIN.
Thursday, September 11, 2008 @ 2:34 AM
Dear Whoever,
Today is a boring day. I Woke up late, around 2pm as ussual. haha. You cant blame me, last night was a horrible night. Ive been dreaming and thinking my dad. So when i woke up, my mom keep on yelling at me, saying im supposed to sleep and wake up early, and blah blah blah.Haha. Kumain. Tumanganga. Natulog. Iniisip sya. Tumanganga. ^__^
Boredom strikes again. Then I Cant think of something to do, so i decided to watch a movie. But sadly, we aint got a new dvd/vcd. So while searching for something to watch, i remembered One Tree Hill If you'll not aski, 
Im a certified OTH addcit! haha. And i have a Huge crush on Chad Michael Murray.
a.k.a Lucas Scott. OMFG. *drools* Chad michael Murray, Marry Me? Please? Haha.
Anyway, Peyton Sawyer is my inspiration when it comes into dark art. Here
's a few of her artwork.See, isnt she great? (: I <3 Peyton Sawyer!Enough now. I want to finish the season 4 so i can watch the season 5. Ive heard season 5 is the BEST! ^__^
CMM's Fiancee
(not!)Trixie (:
TrixieEatWorld
I Love You Best Mark. :]
Wednesday, September 3, 2008 @ 12:07 PM
Dear whoever,
Last night, i get the chance to catch up on Mark. I Just miss him. He always makes me smile. And the best thing about him is, he's always beside me, no matter what.
I wish i'll get the chance to meet him in person. :]
i love you best mark. best friends forever. (:Your bestfriend,Trixie.
TrixieEatWorld
I Want A Simple Explanation
@ 12:37 AM
Mood:
Dear Whoever,
Im still human, i still get my feelings hurt, and get pissed off at things. Im trying to control my feeings, but gaah, i cant. Im trying not to cry but you know, i just cant help it. There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up. I Jut broke up wit him. And i dont know which path to take. Will I continue loving him? Or should i stop it? 
You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?. It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it. Ang sakit. ang sakit sakit. I did the best i could but God, it wasnt good enough. Where did i go wrong? I've gave my best. But still, it didnt work out. Tangina. Seryoso ako sayo, then ikaw you're takin me for granted. Tapos may malalaman ako na hindi maganda. Fxck, tara, maglaro nalang tayo. If thats what you want. Fine. Lets play it the way you want it to be. But im tellin you, aint no other way to play game, tha way i play. Pero bakit pa tayo maglalaro? Tapusin na natin 'to. Bakit ko pa hahayaan na mas lalo ako masaktan? In the end, ako pa din ang talo.. And that is what you get when you when you let your heart win. Damn you Carl. Damn You.
Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold, and more painful than you've ever imagined. And even when truth is more cruel than any lie.
I Love You (not!),
TRIXIE.
TrixieEatWorld
Ecstatic :]
Friday, August 8, 2008 @ 1:33 PM
AUGUST 09, 2008
4:45 am
Mood:
Yay. its been a month since the last time i've updated my blog. Anyway, i really dunno where to start, kasi there's a lotta things that happened to me today/tonight. Hehe. Actually, kakaalis lang ni Carl ngayon. haha. yea madaling araw na. :] and kakauwi nya lang. andddd
HAPPY 2ND MONTH to us CARL. ^__^ Masydong maaga namin cinelebrate ang aming monthsary. haha. its fun though. it really is. nakakatuwa. And, kaninang hapon, im thinking if i'll visit Treelane 3. wala lang, i just miss my friends. so dahil its 08-08-08 well, "08" is a lucky number as they say. well ewan ko lang. pero ewan ko ba, ang lakas ng feeling ko na may maganda na mangyayari sakin today. haha. anyway, as i said, i went to Treelane. if im not mistaken mga around 4pm ako nagstay dun up to 5pm. Afterwards, we went to Jhy's house. Then we're about to go to Mela's house na [around 6pm] but then,
OMFG we saw this cute guy. super cute. he's chinito and maputi, so i guess he's a mixed blood. or maybe he's a jap. pero syempre hanggang tingin lang kami. haha tapos, siguro mga nakailang steps na kami, then we decided to follow that guy, but sadly, hindi na namin sya mkita. damn. hahah. okay lang. masrap lang kasi magtrip that time. haha. then, dumiretso na kami kina Mela. tapos tumambay sa club hoouse. then we were talkin bout this 08-08-08 thingy, if its true nga na lucky, tapos kami ni Jhy, were still expecting that there's somethin great that will happen to us that day. then were talkin bout online games too. haha. i dont play any online games kasi. pero recently, im becoming interested on it. haha.
Reason; CARL! hahah. kasi nmn, he's so addicted on online games. lalo na that
Cabal Game. damn you Cabal. lol. :]]] so i decided to try any online game para nmn i can understand him na. para next time, kasama nya na ko maglalaro. haha ^___^ and then ayun na, naghanapa kami ng internet shop. but damn, lahat puno. walang availble. ampp-___- naubos time namin kaka hanap ng net shop. haha. tumalon pa kami ng bakod dun sa shortcut para dun sa isang internet shop. haha kaso wala din availble. haha.so yea, swerte ang 08. hahaha. tapos, mga 10pm bumalik kami kina Jhy. then pabalik balik kami. tapos may nakita kami na cute guy. sinundan nmin. kaso badtrip, sumakay agad ng jeep. haha. ang sakit na nga ng paa ko. haha. tapos naghanap ulit kami ng net shop, wala pa din. and again, swerte nga ang 08 (NOT! :]]) . hahahha. :]]] Ayun, 11pm na siguro nung bumalik kami sa isang net shop then
FINALLY, may space na. hahaha. ayun, nag net kami. tapos ang saya ko, kasi naabutan ko si Carl na online. yehey. i greeted him. coz its our 2ND MONTH. wee. ayun, i tried Audition ang 02jam too. kaso ang boring. haha. inantok lang ako. tapos i wanna buy that clothes for my character kaso i dont have money pa on that game. ampp pity me. haha. ayun, tapos pumunta na kami kina Carl, dinaanan namin sya tapos pumunta kami dito sa house together wit Jhy and Ate Lei. :] Uminom sila whie Carl and i were talkin. god. ang sya. :} i really enjoyed this day. kahit na hindi kami siniwerte ni Jhy. :]]] i had a lotta fun today. i love 08 na. lol. hahaha. :]] and i get the chance to spend some time wit carl pa. maagang celebration. hahaa. :] la la la.
i love you Carl. i really do. :] again, happy 2nd month. :] anyway, its 5am now, i have to sleep na. ahha. pagkaalis na pagkaalis kasi ni Carl, i got inspired, obviously kasi im happy. haha kaya eto, kahit na nagtitilaukan na ang mga manok eto parin ako, nagblo-blog. hahaha. ^^ anyway, goodmornin and goodbye for now. :] I LOVE YOU CARL!!!! :] la la la love.
TrixieLoveCarl :]
TrixieEatWorld
Now Its Forever..
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 @ 1:57 AM
06.25.08Jhon Carl De Lara Cerezo,I Want You To Know How Much I Love You. You Complete Me. I Love You More Than You Could Possibly Know And My Love Keeps Growing Every Time I See You Struggling To Make Me Happy. I Love you, Carl, Now And Always. Youre My FOREVER. I Know Words Are Still Not Enough. But Carl, I LOve LOve youu From The Bottom Of My Heart, Yes. Im Deeply Inlove Wit U. Yes It Has A Beginning. But It Has No End. Carl, My Love For You Is Unmeasurable. Its Deathless. Im So Glad That Ive Waited For You. . I Love You Mr. Cerezo..
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever.I think our love can do anything we want it to.
`Trixie Love Carl.
Yours Wit Much love
TRIXIE.
TrixieEatWorld
Me && You. <33
Tuesday, June 24, 2008 @ 4:21 AM
Its Me && You. Yes. We Shared Our First Kiss. I Can Still Feel Your Lips. Your Tongue On My Lips. Oh yes. I Can still Remember. A Kiss I Would Remember. Eleventh Of June. And oh, do you know that you kissed My Soul && Heart Too? :] . Yes, You stole my heart today. When our eyes close, our lips meet. i place my lips next to yours. Smooth and warm, Sensuous and passionate. Can we do that again? Coz And it wasn't going to be our last. <33
TrixieEatWorld
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